Divorce and separation can be a highly stressful time and it is at this time that you should look after your health. Take care of yourself or you may suffer serious health issues later on. Get lots of rest. Do things that energize you, keep yourself grounded. Spend time with family and friends that will laugh and cry with you. If you look after yourself your children benefit. No divorce is the same –everyone experiences it differently. Even with that said know that you are not alone in the feelings that you may have. Divorce can often be like experiencing a death. You may go through all the same stages as one does with a death-shock, grief, anger, denial and acceptance. When divorce happens attitude is everything …you can decide to be bitter or better. Have faith and know that this is all temporary. Life will become good and fun again if you want it to be.
The main point that I would like to mention about divorce is when children are involved be fair. They may be your best asset but they are not objects they are human beings. Help them become well adapted individuals. Don’t traumatize them with head games and bribery. Children need and want the influence of both parents. Time should be spent equally between each except in cases where their well being, health and safety are at risk. Children may experience confusion, loss and separation anxiety. Be alert to changes in their health and help them adjust and talk about their feelings. Proper diet, nutrition and plenty of exercise and fresh air are important. They are many resources available do not be afraid to reach out.
Below is a government website with lots of resource information….by audio

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/mh-sm/divorce/audio-eng.php

When to get help and how to help your child:

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/mh-sm/divorce/audio-en/1-13-WhentoGetHelpforYours.mp3

Life goes on and if violence is part of it assure them that is not their fault . Abuse is not always physical there are many forms of abuse. Emotional abuse is as damaging as any other form. If you left an abusive home give yourself credit for having the courage to take that step. You have shown your child that it is not right. Even if he/she doesn’t understand it now and may even blame you for their anger and sadness they will one day understand the price that you paid for what is right and best for them and their emotional health and well being. By leading by example you are showing them people should be treated with respect and abuse of any kind is wrong. Hopefully, they will learn to choose wisely and respect themselves enough to know that they deserve the best when they make their choices with regards to relationships later on. Parents are a childs first teacher. Always assure your child that it’s not their fault that things didn’t work out and that you love them unconditionally no matter what.
Be good to yourself!

To your health,

Sheena